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The pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan in 2010.

The pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan in 2010. y5KP
The pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan in 2010. We can see that in Malaysia the greatest proportion of expenditure (34%) was on housing, while in Japan housing accounted for just 21% of the total. In contrast, in Japan the greatest single expense was other goods and services at 29%, compared with 26% in Malaysia. Food came in second place in Japan, at 24%, while in Malaysia the actual proportion was higher (27%). In Japan another major expense was transport, at 20%, but this was much lower In Malaysia (10%). In both countries the smallest percentage of expenditure was on health care. Overall, the data indicates that in both cases food, housing and other goods and services were the main expenses, but that in Japan, transport and other goods and services took up a higher proportion of total expenditure than in Malaysia.
The pie charts
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show
the
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proportion
of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and
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Japan
in 2010.

We can
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see
that in Malaysia the greatest
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proportion
of expenditure (34%) was on housing, while in
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Japan
housing accounted for
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just
21% of the total.
In contrast
, in
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Japan
the greatest single
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expense
was other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services at 29%, compared with 26% in Malaysia. Food came in second place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, at 24%, while in Malaysia the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
was higher (27%). In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
another major
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expense
was transport, at 20%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this was much lower In Malaysia (10%). In both countries the smallest percentage of expenditure was on health care.

Overall
, the data indicates that in both cases food, housing and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services were the main expenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, transport and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services took up a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of total expenditure than in Malaysia.
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IELTS academic The pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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