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The pie charts represent the ratio of British students who had spoken other languages including English in a particular England's university.

The pie charts represent the ratio of British students who had spoken other languages including English in a particular England's university. 8aGWG
The pie charts represent the ratio of British students who had spoken other languages including English in a particular England's university. The data have been taken from two different years, 2000 and 2010, and the unit is measured in the percentage. Overall, Spanish was the most popular language within given years, In contrast to this, the number of students speaking Spanish was the least. In 2000 and 2010, Spanish was spoken the most among the students, 30% and 35 % respectively. The second highest famous language was French. It had gained popularity within 10 years. In 2000, it was 15 % and in the year 2010, it captured 20% of students. In contrast to these above two languages, only English speakers had reduced by 10 % by the year 2010. Fasthomore, there was no change in the percentage of German speakers. They had the same, 10 % during the given time span. However, a marginal increase of 5% in two other languages has been observed by 2010
The pie charts represent the ratio of British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who had spoken other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
including English in a particular England's university. The data have
been taken
from two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different


years, 2000 and 2010, and the unit
is measured
in the percentage.

Overall
, Spanish was the most popular
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language
within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years,
In contrast
to this, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
speaking Spanish was the least.

In 2000 and 2010, Spanish
was spoken
the most among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, 30% and 35 %
respectively
. The second highest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was French. It had gained popularity within 10 years.

In 2000, it was 15 % and in the year 2010, it captured 20% of
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students
.
In contrast
to these above two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
English speakers had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 10 % by the year 2010.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Fasthomore
, there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the percentage of German speakers. They had the same, 10 % during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time span.
However
, a marginal increase of 5% in two other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has
been observed
by 2010

IELTS academic The pie charts represent the ratio of British students who had spoken other languages including English in a particular England's university.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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