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The pie charts illustrate various reasons for coming to and exiting the UK in 2007.

The pie charts illustrate various reasons for coming to and exiting the UK in 2007. J3RRa
The pie charts illustrate various reasons for coming to and exiting the UK in 2007. Overall, the most common reason for both immigration and emigration was to have a definite job. The fewest people decided to move to the UK for no reason stated, whereas formal study influenced fewest people for emigration. Over 26% of people decided to come to the UK for the reason of formal study, which was about seven times higher than the figures for departure. In addition, the percentage of having a definite job was relatively similar in both immigration and emigration with 24% and 27% respectively. The proportion of people who came to and exited the UK was respectively 15% and 13% for accompany. There was 18% in the proportion of emigrants for no reason, which was three times higher than that of immigrants. The ratio of people who moved to the UK to look for work doubled that of those who came. 11% was the percentage of arrival to for other reason, emigration’s category was 3% higher.
The pie charts illustrate various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for coming to and exiting the UK in 2007.

Overall
, the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for both immigration and emigration was to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job. The fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the UK for no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
stated, whereas formal study influenced
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fewest".
fewest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for emigration.

Over 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the UK for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of formal study, which was about seven times higher than the figures for departure.
In addition
, the percentage of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job was
relatively
similar in both immigration and emigration with 24% and 27%
respectively
. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who came to and exited the UK was
respectively
15% and 13% for accompany.

There was 18% in the proportion of emigrants for no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, which was three times higher than that of immigrants. The ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the UK to look for work doubled that of those who came. 11% was the percentage of arrival to for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, emigration’s category was 3% higher.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate various reasons for coming to and exiting the UK in 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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