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The pie charts given illustrate how much the proportion of electricity is utilized by various sectors in Eastern Australia over a course of 3 years starting from 2007.

The pie charts given illustrate how much the proportion of electricity is utilized by various sectors in Eastern Australia over a course of 3 years starting from 2007. okA0D
The pie charts given illustrate how much the proportion of electricity is utilized by various sectors in Eastern Australia over a course of 3 years starting from 2007. Overall, the vast majority of the percentage of power was used by residential and commercial while most other sectors witnessed their usage of electricity remaining stable and declining, except for other metals. In 2017, residential and commercial consumed more power than other sectors, accounted for over a half of the total electricity consumption and these figures still remained the same in 2010. Besides, there was a similar trend in the proportion of power consumed for Mining ( 9%) and in agriculture and transport with a tiny percentage of 1% during the period shown. In terms of other remaining sectors, the 3-year period from 2007 to 2010 experienced a marginal fall in the amount of electricity used for manufacturing and aluminium to 9% and 11%, respectively. Conversely, other metals was the only sector which presented a surge in electricity consumption between 12% in 2007 and 18% in 2010.
The pie charts
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given
illustrate how much the proportion of
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electricity
is utilized
by various
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sectors
in Eastern Australia over a course of 3 years starting from 2007.

Overall
, the vast majority of the percentage of power was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by residential and commercial while most
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other
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sectors
witnessed their usage of
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electricity
remaining stable and declining,
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except for
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other
metals.

In 2017, residential and commercial consumed more power than
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other
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sectors
, accounted for over a half of the total
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electricity
consumption and these figures
still
remained the same in 2010.
Besides
, there was a similar trend in the proportion of power consumed for Mining
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
9%) and in agriculture and transport with a tiny percentage of 1% during the period shown.

In terms of
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other
remaining
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sectors
, the 3-year period from 2007 to 2010 experienced a marginal fall in the amount of
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electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for manufacturing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
to 9% and 11%,
respectively
.
Conversely
,
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other
metals was the
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only
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sector
which presented a surge in
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electricity
consumption between 12% in 2007 and 18% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie charts given illustrate how much the proportion of electricity is utilized by various sectors in Eastern Australia over a course of 3 years starting from 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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