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The pie charts compare the proportion of electricity consumed by various regions in Eastern Australia between 2007 and 2010.

The pie charts compare the proportion of electricity consumed by various regions in Eastern Australia between 2007 and 2010. 0wN0n
The pie charts compare the proportion of electricity consumed by various regions in Eastern Australia between 2007 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that the consumption of electricity remained constant apart from aluminum, manufacturing, and other metals fields over the period shown. Additionally, residential and commercial sectors used the most electricity-intensive. In 2007, the biggest proportion was recorded in residential sectors, accounting for 28 percent of the total electricity, while the figure for electricity consumed by commercial occupied 23 percent. Besides, there was 13 percent of electricity consumed by manufacturing and aluminum sector each, whereas the figure for other metals and mining were marginally lower, at 12 percent and 9 percent respectively. By contrast, the lowest proportion of electricity consumed from transport and agriculture, with 1 percent for each region. In 2010, while the percentage of other metals increased significantly by 6 percent, whereas aluminum and manufacturing fields were slightly declined to 11 percent to 9 percent. Furthermore, the proportion of electricity consumed by the other sectors was virtually equal to their initial figures.
The pie charts compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by various regions in Eastern Australia between 2007 and 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
remained constant apart from aluminum, manufacturing, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
metals fields over the period shown.
Additionally
, residential and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the most electricity-intensive.

In 2007, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
was recorded
in residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, accounting for 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, while the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by commercial occupied 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Besides
, there was 13
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by manufacturing and aluminum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
each, whereas the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
metals and mining were
marginally
lower, at 12
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percent
and 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
. By contrast, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
from transport and agriculture, with 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for each region.

In 2010, while the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
metals increased
significantly
by 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, whereas aluminum and manufacturing fields were
slightly
declined to 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
was
virtually
equal to their initial figures.
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IELTS academic The pie charts compare the proportion of electricity consumed by various regions in Eastern Australia between 2007 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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