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The line graph shows the telephone subscribers per 100 habitants in Africa from 1994 to 2004

The line graph shows the telephone subscribers per 100 habitants in Africa from 1994 to 2004 aQReV
The presented chart demonstrates the number of international migration in United Kingdom over a period of ten years. It is obvious that there was an upward trend in both of the figure for Immigration and the Emigration from 1999 to 2008. In addition, Immigration always had higher amount of people who immigrated in UK compared to the amount of Emigration during the surveyed years. In 1999, the number of people immigrated and emmigrated in UK were approximately 450 thousands and 200 thousands respectively. As is presented in the charge, the Net of 1999 around 150 thousands people settled in UK more than the people emmigrated from UK. Over the latter half of the decade which in 2004, the figure for the immigraton peaked at around 600 thousands although the Emmigration was erratic. The Net increases dramatically around 100 thousands between 2004 and 2001. In the year of 2005, the number of immigration unchanged. In contrast, the Emmigration increased slightly. The Net stood at around 200 thousands. In 2007, the Emmigration dropped sharply from 400 thousands to around 330 thousands although the figure for Immigration had a little fluctuation, however, the number remained the same. The Net saw a speedy increase to approximately 250 thousands and it was a second highest after 2004. By 2008, the Net had fell quickly from around 240 thousands to nearly 180 thousands.
The presented chart demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of international migration
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
over a period of ten years.

It is obvious that there was an upward trend in both of the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Immigration
and the Emigration from 1999 to 2008.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Immigration
always had higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who immigrated in UK compared to the amount of Emigration during the surveyed years.

In 1999, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated and
Possible spelling mistake found.
emmigrated
in UK were approximately 450 thousands and 200 thousands
respectively
. As
is presented
in the charge, the Net of 1999
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around
150 thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
settled in UK more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
emmigrated
from UK. Over the latter half of the decade which in 2004, the figure for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
immigraton
peaked at
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around
600 thousands although the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Emmigration
was erratic. The Net increases
dramatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
100 thousands between 2004 and 2001.

In the year of 2005, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
unchanged.
In contrast
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Emmigration
increased
slightly
. The Net stood at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
200 thousands. In 2007, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Emmigration
dropped
sharply
from 400 thousands to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
330 thousands although the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Immigration
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fluctuation,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
remained the same. The Net
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a speedy increase to approximately 250 thousands and it was a second highest after 2004. By 2008, the Net had
Use the past participle "fallen", "felled" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'had'.
fell
quickly
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
240 thousands to
nearly
180 thousands.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the telephone subscribers per 100 habitants in Africa from 1994 to 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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