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The given diagram illustrates how to produce olive oil

The given diagram illustrates how to produce olive oil B7G3p
The given diagram illustrates how to produce olive oil. Generally speaking, the process involves 7 steps, starting from picking olives from trees and ending at storage and sale the olive oil. As it is presented in the graph, the first step of making olive oil is picking olives from the trees, then rinse them into cold water and put on the belt. Follow the belt, olives are throughed in a machine for smashing, they are turned into olive paste and olive stones afterwards. Move to the fourth stage, the productions of the previous step are packed in bag with holes, they are then experienced through 2 more steps namely pressing and separating. Once it is finished, oil and water are formed which are the finished product of this process. The last step, people will storage and sale them. In summary, the raw material - olives need the whole process consists of generally seven steps before ready to be used.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates how to produce olive oil.
Generally
speaking, the process involves 7
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steps
, starting from picking
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olives
from trees and ending at storage and sale the olive oil.

As it
is presented
in the graph, the
first
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step
of making olive oil is picking
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olives
from the trees, then rinse them into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
water and put on the belt. Follow the belt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
olives
are
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throughed
in a machine for smashing, they
are turned
into olive paste and olive stones afterwards.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
to the fourth stage, the productions of the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
are packed
in bag with holes, they are then experienced through 2 more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
namely
pressing and separating. Once it
is finished
, oil and water
are formed
which are the finished product of this process. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will storage and sale them.

In summary, the raw material
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-
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olives
need the whole process consists of
generally
seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
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IELTS academic The given diagram illustrates how to produce olive oil

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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