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Ingredients in three types of food

Ingredients in three types of food N3loy
The three pie charts compares the proportions of three various ingredients in four types of food whose less intake is recommended. In general, bigger fraction of dinner comes from saturated fat whose share in the other types of food is slightly small. It is also clear that, the figures for sodium in dinner and lunch are twice as much as in snacks and breakfast. The breakdowns of saturated fat and sodium in dinner account for 43% and 37%accordingly, while the amount of sugar in the very food is responsible for under a quarter. As for breakfast, the figure for saturated fat and extra sugar stand at 16% equally, with sodium constituting less than a fifth. The percentages of sodium and fat are over a quarter each in lunch which consists of 13%of sugar. On the other hand, in snacks sugar has a share of 42%, while sodium is responsible for only 14%of that food
The three pie charts compares the proportions of three various ingredients in four types of
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food
whose less intake
is recommended
.

In general
, bigger fraction of dinner
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comes
from saturated
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fat
whose share in the other types of
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food
is
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.

It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the figures for sodium in dinner and lunch are twice as much as in snacks and breakfast.

The breakdowns of saturated
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fat
and sodium in dinner account for 43% and 37%
accordingly
, while the amount of sugar in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is responsible for under a quarter.

As for breakfast, the figure for saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and extra sugar stand at 16%
equally
, with sodium constituting less than a fifth.

The percentages of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are over a quarter each in lunch which consists of 13%of sugar.

On the other hand
, in snacks sugar has a share of 42%, while sodium is responsible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14%of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
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IELTS academic Ingredients in three types of food

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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