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The pie chart shows the energy use in Australia homes in 2008

The pie chart shows the energy use in Australia homes in 2008 m9pV8
The given pie chart demonstrates the rate of vitality utilization in seven diverse family exercises in Australia Overall, it can be seen that heating and cooling accounts most elevated among other family vitality utilization whereas stand-by control devours the least rate of the overall vitality. A near see at the chart uncovers that Australian citizens utilize heating and cooling most which contributes 38 % of the whole vitality. Water heating retains 25% of the full vitality devoured by families in Australia. In addition, the rate of power utilization for Fridges and freezers and lighting were 7%. On the opposite, vitality utilizes for stand by power and cooking were3% and 4% correspondingly. In expansion, vitality employments for other appliances is less than half of the vitality utilizes by heating and cooling which was 16%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart demonstrates the rate of
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vitality
utilization in seven diverse family exercises in Australia

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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heating
and cooling accounts most elevated among other family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
utilization whereas stand-by control devours the least rate of the
overall
vitality.

A near
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
at the chart uncovers that Australian citizens utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and cooling most which contributes 38 % of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
. Water
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heating
retains 25% of the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
devoured by families in Australia.
In addition
, the rate of power utilization for Fridges and freezers and lighting were 7%. On the opposite,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
utilizes for stand by power and cooking were3% and 4%
correspondingly
. In expansion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
employments for other appliances is less than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitality
utilizes by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and cooling which was 16%.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the energy use in Australia homes in 2008

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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