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The pie chart illustrates, the amount spent by government in 2010 and 2015.

The pie chart illustrates, the amount spent by government in 2010 and 2015. 0RQG
The pie chart illustrates, the amount spent by government in 2010 and 2015. Overall, it is evident that, while there is increase in expenditure on health, welfare and loan interest, it is decreased in education, defence and transport. Additionally, the pension amount and misscelinious expenses remained same during the five year period. Firstly, in 2010 less than 10% is spent on welfare and interest on loan, which is increased by 5% in 2015 making it 13% and 10% respectively. Moreover, the amount spend on culture and leisure activities slightly increased from 1% earlier to 2% later. Secondly, in 2015 the budget allocated for education and defence is 3% less as compared to that in 2010. A fall of 2% is seen on transportation. However, that amount spend on pension and other expenses remained same in both year which accounts for 19% and 1% respectively.
The pie chart illustrates, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spent by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in 2010 and 2015.

Overall
, it is evident that, while there is increase in expenditure on health, welfare and loan interest, it
is decreased
in education,
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and transport.
Additionally
, the pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
misscelinious
expenses remained same during the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "five-year"
five year
period.

Firstly
, in 2010 less than 10%
is spent
on welfare and interest on loan, which
is increased
by 5% in 2015 making it 13% and 10%
respectively
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spend on culture and leisure activities
slightly
increased from 1% earlier to 2% later.

Secondly
, in 2015 the budget allocated for education and
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
is 3% less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to that in 2010. A fall of 2% is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on transportation.
However
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spend on pension and other expenses remained same in both year which accounts for 19% and 1%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates, the amount spent by government in 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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