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The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. n0lK
The pie chart illustrates the major causes of agricutural land bcome degradated and the table is showing the effects in the three regions around the world in 1990s. Overall, over-grazing is main problem for the degradation and other reasons are the less destructive with 7% only. Although North America is less affected area but Oceania has no over-cultivation problem. First of all, it is seen that in the pie chart the main reason of land degradation is over-grazing which is more than one third of the all causes. The second and third most resons behind creating this issue deforestation and over-cultivation (30 and 28 per cent repec tively) while 7% damages are being done by the other reasons. On the other hand, in the table we could see that three regions those are being affected for the land degradation. Here, Europe’s condition is the worst than the others where 23% land has been degrated (9. 8% deforestation, 7. 7% over-cultivation and 5. 5% due to over-grazing). The second region is Oceania with 13% of less effective land but this region has no effect for the over-cultivation. North America which continent has less effect than all with 5% damages has been done.
The pie chart illustrates the major causes of
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agricutural
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land
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bcome
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degradated
and the table is showing the effects in the three
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regions
around the world
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
.

Overall
, over-grazing is main problem for the degradation and
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other
reasons are the
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less
destructive with 7%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Although North America is
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less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Oceania has no over-cultivation problem.

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First of all
, it is
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seen
that in the pie chart the main reason of
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land
degradation is over-grazing which is more than one third of the all causes. The second and third most
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resons
behind creating this issue deforestation and over-cultivation (30 and 28 per cent
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repec
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tively
) while 7% damages are
being done
by the
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other
reasons.

On the
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other
hand, in the table we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that three
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regions
those are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
for the
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land
degradation. Here, Europe’s condition is the worst than the others where 23%
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land
has been
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degrated
(9. 8% deforestation, 7. 7% over-cultivation and 5. 5% due to over-grazing). The second
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region
is Oceania with 13% of
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less
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
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region
has no effect for the over-cultivation. North America which continent has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
effect than all with 5% damages has
been done
.
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IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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