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The percentage of people in the USA who frequently ate in fast food restaurants between the year of 2003 and 2013

The percentage of people in the USA who frequently ate in fast food restaurants between the year of 2003 and 2013 MrjDq
The chart illustrates the percentage of people in the USA who frequently ate in fast food restaurants between the year of 2003 and 2013. By analyzing the data, we can see that more than 30 percent people were eating at fast-food restaurants at least once a week in the year of 2003 and 2006 which eventually decreased in 2013. However, 30 percent people were eating fast-food once or twice a month in 2003, which got a 5-percent decline in the year of 2006. Although, there is a decrease in the percentage of people who were consuming fast-food at least once or twice a month in 2006, the percentage was increased to about 33 percent in 2013. Then, the percentage of people who went out to these food places several times a week was at highest (20 percent) in 2006. Also, about 15 percent of people went to these fast-food restaurants in the year of 2006 and 2013. which was lower in 2003. In addition, the percentage of people who never went out to eat at a fast-food restaurant was at 5 percent in 2003. However, the percentage in this category went down in 2006 and 2013. The percentage of people who went out every day to eat fast-food was at under 5 percent in between 2003 and 2013.
The chart illustrates the
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percentage
of
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people
in the USA
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who
frequently
ate in
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fast
food
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restaurants
between the
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year
of 2003 and 2013.

By analyzing the data, we can
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see
that more than 30
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percent
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people
were eating at
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fast
-food
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restaurants
at least once a week in the
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year
of 2003 and 2006 which
eventually
decreased in 2013.
However
, 30
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percent
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people
were eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food once or twice a month in 2003, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
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5-percent
decline in the
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year
of 2006. Although, there is a decrease in the
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percentage
of
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people
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who
were consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food at least once or twice a month in 2006, the
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percentage
was increased
to about 33
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percent
in 2013. Then, the
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percentage
of
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people
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who
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went
out to these food places several times a week was at highest (20
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percent)
in 2006.
Also
, about 15
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percent
of
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people
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went
to these
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fast
-food
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restaurants
in the
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year
of 2006 and 2013.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
was lower in 2003.
In addition
, the
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percentage
of
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people
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who
never
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went
out to eat at a
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fast
-food
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restaurant
was at 5
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percent
in 2003.
However
, the
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percentage
in this category
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went
down in 2006 and 2013. The
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
out every day to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food was at under 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in between 2003 and 2013.
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IELTS academic The percentage of people in the USA who frequently ate in fast food restaurants between the year of 2003 and 2013

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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