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The percentage of people by age group in one country in 2015. Who used mobile/cell phone for four situations.

The percentage of people by age group in one country in 2015. Who used mobile/cell phone for four situations. VYpbw
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of people used cell phone of one country for four situations as public transportation, street, restaurant, and family dinner in 2015 by age group. Overall, almost citizens of all ages tended to use mobile phone in public transportation, contrary to family dinner. Teenagers and those under 30 age usually use their phone in all four situations, while the phones of the eldest are the least used. In public transportation, the percent age of people aged 18-29 was 90 %, making it the highest figure followed by 30 - 49 years old people with 79%. The propor age of the 50-64 age group ranked third with 50%, while the percent age of people who were above 65 reached the bottom of 19%. In street, the percent age of the 30 -49 age group topped the list with 85%, while the three age groups (18-19, 50- 64, 65+) underwent a decrease to 80%, 40% and 9% respectively. Similarly, there was a slight increase in the percent age of people from 18-19 to 30- 49 by 8% before dropping significantly of the two age groups ( 50- 64, 65+) to 5%. By contrast, family dinner was the time that people from all different age groups used leastly, only approximately 10%
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cell
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phone
of one country for four situations as public transportation, street, restaurant, and family dinner in 2015 by
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age
group.

Overall
, almost citizens of all
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ages
tended to
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use
mobile
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phone
in public transportation, contrary to family dinner.
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Teenagers
and those under 30
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age
usually
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use
their
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phone
in all four situations, while the
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phones
of the eldest are the least
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used
.

In public transportation, the
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percent
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age
of
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people
aged 18-29 was 90 %, making it the highest figure followed by
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30 - 49
years
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old
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people
with 79%. The
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propor
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age
of the 50-64
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age
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group
ranked third with 50%, while the
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percent
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age
of
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people
who were above 65 reached the bottom of 19%.

In street, the
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percent
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age
of the 30 -49
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age
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group
topped the list with 85%, while the three
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age
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groups
(18-19,
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50- 64
, 65+) underwent a decrease to 80%, 40% and 9%
respectively
.
Similarly
, there was a slight increase in the
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
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people
from 18-19 to
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30- 49
by 8%
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before
dropping
significantly
of the two
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
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50- 64
, 65+) to 5%. By contrast, family dinner was the time that
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people
from all
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different
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age
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groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
leastly
,
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only
approximately 10%
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IELTS academic The percentage of people by age group in one country in 2015. Who used mobile/cell phone for four situations.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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