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the number of travellers visit Ashdown museum between the year before and after

the number of travellers visit Ashdown museum between the year before and after m2Q2O
The table illustrates the number of travellers visit Ashdown museum between the year before and after one it was refurbished while the charts compare different levels of satisfaction of people who went to this place. Overall, a closer look at the table highlights the fact that the number of visitors to Ashdown museum after refurbishment increased significantly. Throughout the same two periods, the proportion of dissatisfied people about Ashdown museum witnessed a dramatic decline. At the beginning of the period, the percentage of people who were dissatisfied with Ashdownmuseum experienced a noticeable decrease from 40% to only 15%. Similarly, the figure for very dissatisfied started at 10%, but later also declined slightly to 5%. By contrast, the figure for satisfied people with Ashdown museum increased from 30% to 40% over the same periods. Standing at 15% before refurbished, the figure for very satisfied level rose moderately to 35% after restoration. As a result, the number of visitors to Ashdown museum began at 74000 in the year before refurbishment, which then experienced a significant growth to 92000 at the end of the period.
The table illustrates the number of
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travellers
visit
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Ashdown
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museum
between the year
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before
and after one it
was refurbished
while the charts compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of satisfaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who went to this place.

Overall
, a closer look at the table highlights the fact that the number of visitors to
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Ashdown
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museum
after refurbishment increased
significantly
. Throughout the same two periods, the proportion of dissatisfied
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people
about
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Ashdown
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museum
witnessed a dramatic decline.

At the beginning of the period, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were dissatisfied
with
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Ashdownmuseum
experienced a noticeable decrease from 40% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.
Similarly
, the figure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 10%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later
also
declined
slightly
to 5%. By contrast, the figure for satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
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museum
increased from 30% to 40% over the same periods.

Standing at 15%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
refurbished, the figure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied level rose
moderately
to 35% after restoration.
As a result
, the number of visitors to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
began at 74000 in the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
refurbishment, which then experienced a significant growth to 92000 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic the number of travellers visit Ashdown museum between the year before and after

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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