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The maps show the center of a small town Islip and after development.

The maps show the center of a small town Islip and after development. m3k68
The plans illustrate the center of a small city (Islip) that has gone through some changes. Overall, it is clear that this part of Islip has gone through radical alterations more significantly in the center of this region, as it was developed and converted into a massive commercial and residential area. First, as can be seen from these maps, on the western side of this area there used to be the main road which is expanded to a dual carriageway and created a circle design to facilitate transportation to various parts of this town. Also, in the north of this region, there was countryside which destructed for the expansion of the road. Besides, in the middle part of these plans, there were several shops by the main road among them, as all of them were removed with exception of the shops, which were located on the south of the main road which remained intact, while the main road converted into pedestrians only. Moreover, all shops were removed, yet a bus station, a shopping center, a car park, and new housing were erected. In the bottom right-hand corner there used to be a large park which diminished in size, due to expansion of the road. In the south of this region, there were some scattered housing which they separate into two parts two housings, and with new housing being constructed. Finally, there used to be a house in the bottom left-hand corner which expanded in size.
The plans illustrate the center of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
) that has gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
has gone through radical alterations more
significantly
in the center of this region, as it
was developed
and converted into a massive commercial and residential area.

First
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from these maps, on the western side of this area there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
which
is expanded
to a dual carriageway and created a circle design to facilitate transportation to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of this town.
Also
, in the north of this region, there was countryside which destructed for the expansion of the road.

Besides
, in the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of these plans, there were several shops by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
among them, as all of them
were removed
with
The usual collocation for "exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
the shops, which
were located
on the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
which remained intact, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
converted into pedestrians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Moreover
, all shops
were removed
,
yet
a bus station, a shopping center, a car park, and new housing
were erected
. In the bottom right-hand corner there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a large park which diminished in size, due to expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. In the south of this region, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scattered housing which they separate into two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
two housings, and with new housing
being constructed
.
Finally
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-hand corner which expanded in size.

IELTS academic The maps show the center of a small town Islip and after development.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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