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The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2010 and the present day.

The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2010 and the present day. 6wmW
The pictures show the changes that happened with University Campus within the eleven year period between 2010 and the present day. Obviously can be seen that all buildings got some improvements while other structures evolved into much bigger facilities. As time passes, more people become interested in studies and this situation force to move some facilities on other place or emerge two different departments into one structure. For example, University offices, shops and restaurant had been emerged into one big structure — Student facilities. While teaching block that had been containing arts and science departments was split into two big Science and Arts buildings. Furthermore, Student accommodations had been improved and got some increase from two buildings to three big structures. But there is a downsides, the lake that was a resting place for students now has less attention to it and becomes in awful condition. Summing up, whole University Campus had a lot of improvement and developing to carry as much students as possible.
The pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that happened with University Campus within the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "eleven-year"
eleven year
period between 2010 and the present day.
Obviously
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that all buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
improvements while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
evolved into much bigger facilities.

As time passes, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become interested in studies and this situation force to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities on other place or emerge two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
departments into one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
.
For example
, University offices, shops and restaurant had
been emerged
into one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
—
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
facilities. While teaching block that had been containing arts and science departments
was split
into two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Science and Arts buildings.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
accommodations had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
increase from two buildings to three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean "there are a downsides"?
there is a downsides
, the lake that was a resting place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has less attention to it and becomes in awful condition.

Summing up, whole University Campus had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
improvement and developing to carry as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as possible.

IELTS academic The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2010 and the present day.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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