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The linear graph shows the data in the line graph on use of media in US(1997-2004)

The linear graph shows the data in the line graph on use of media in US(1997-2004) 2x8JA
The given graph demonstrate the tendency of the usage hours of media for per person in USA from 1997 to 2004 Overall, based on the graph above the use of some media types such as, broadcast TV, Daily newspapers changed to downward trends, whereas Radio, Cable &Satellite TV, Consumer internet were noted as upward trends between 1997 and 2004. It is interesting to note that Broadcast TV used by about 900 individuals in 1997 declined dramatically to approximately 790 usages of people in 2004. Moreover, Daily newspapers decreased slightly to about 180 users in 2004, Although It remained stable with 200 users in 1997 and 2001. Getting back to the details of upward trends, in spite of the fact that Radio used by more 900 people descended slightly in the beginning period, It rise dramatically to the highest point usage with nearly 1100 users as well as Cable &Satellite TV rose up to almost 1000 usages with fluctuated growth during the period. Furthermore, the lowest used media type, consumer internet increased 2 times with 200 people
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph demonstrate the tendency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
hours of media for per person
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
from 1997 to 2004

Overall
, based on the graph above the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
media types such as, broadcast TV, Daily newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to downward trends, whereas Radio, Cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
&Satellite
TV, Consumer internet
were noted
as upward trends between 1997 and 2004.

It is interesting to note that Broadcast TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by about 900 individuals in 1997 declined
dramatically
to approximately 790
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2004.
Moreover
, Daily newspapers decreased
slightly
to about 180 users in 2004, Although It remained stable with 200 users in 1997 and 2001.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of upward trends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that Radio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by more 900
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
descended
slightly
in the beginning period, It
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
dramatically
to the highest point
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
with
nearly
1100 users
as well
as Cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
&Satellite
TV rose up to almost 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
with fluctuated growth during the period.
Furthermore
, the lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
media type, consumer internet increased 2 times with 200
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people

IELTS academic The linear graph shows the data in the line graph on use of media in US(1997-2004)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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