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The line graph shows the three different area of crime in Manchester city in 2003 and 2012

The line graph shows the three different area of crime in Manchester city in 2003 and 2012 yxjn3
The linear graph is statistical representation of variability in the exchange in three different area of offence (Burglary, car theft, robbery) in Manchester city center between 2003and 2012. The data has been calibrated in numbers. Even a cursory glance at the chart depicts that, the rate of car theft showed an upward trend as compared to others given in the timeframe. Taking a closer analysis of the graph reveals that, the rate of burglary reached at 34, 000 in 2013 then this went down sharply to 1, 000 in 2008. There was a slow increase with (500) in the number of crime in burglary in 2012. Whereas, the rate of car theft began at 23, 00 in 2003 but the rate of offence in car theft had shown fluctuation variation in given years. Which accounted for 27, 00. By marked contrast, the number of crime in robbery was 500 in 2003 but it was increased by 400 in 2005. while, the rate of robbery remained constant from 2006 to 2012 it was observed as 500 respectively.
The linear graph is statistical representation of variability in the exchange in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
(Burglary,
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car
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theft
, robbery) in Manchester city center between 2003and 2012. The data has
been calibrated
in numbers.

Even a cursory glance at the chart depicts that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend as compared to others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the timeframe.

Taking a closer analysis of the graph reveals that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of burglary reached at 34, 000 in 2013 then this went down
sharply
to 1, 000 in 2008. There was a slow increase with (500) in the number of crime in burglary in 2012. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
began at 23, 00 in 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
had shown fluctuation variation in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. Which accounted for 27, 00. By marked contrast, the number of crime in robbery was 500 in 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was increased
by 400 in 2005.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of robbery remained constant from 2006 to 2012 it
was observed
as 500
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the three different area of crime in Manchester city in 2003 and 2012

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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