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The line graph shows the number of newly graduated students in the UK, while the bar chart compares their proportions in five different jobs occupied by them in 1992, 1997, and 2002.

The line graph illustrates the amount of freshly graduated students studying in the UK, whereas the bar chart shows a comparison between 5 different occupations occupied by them in 1992, 1997, and 2002. Overall, the number of new graduate student surged to a peak then dropped down slightly in year 1997 and 2002 respectively. In terms of employment, professional has been the most preferred job among freshers while sales being the least throughout the year.
The line graph illustrates the amount of
freshly
graduated students studying in the UK,

whereas the bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a comparison between 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupations occupied by them in 1992, 1997, and 2002.

Overall
, the number of new graduate student surged to a peak then
This phrase is redundant. Consider using “dropped”.
dropped down
slightly
in year 1997 and 2002
respectively
. In terms of employment,

professional has been the most preferred job among freshers while sales being the least throughout the year.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of newly graduated students in the UK, while the bar chart compares their proportions in five different jobs occupied by them in 1992, 1997, and 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
75 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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