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The line graph shows the different tourist to england

The graph represents total number of people travelling to Brighton, England visiting four common tourist place over a thirty year time period. Overall, pier and pavilion saw a slight increase whereas, art gallery and festival remains in a decline in percent of tourists. From 1980 to 1995, pavilion tourism rocketed, making number of tourist to more than double. On the other hand, pier saw a gradual increase, from ten percent to twelve percent. In contrast to this, from 1995 to 2010, pier tourists made its figures climb by almost hundred percent (11 to almost 22) where as pavilion numbers plunged to thirty percent. On the other hand, art gallery travellers figures fluctated immensely but booked same spot from 1985 to 2010. Similarly, festivals tourists saw a slight decline, dropping by almost five percent. Although upto 2010, festival tourism industry plateaued to remain at almost twenty six percent whereas, art gallery plummeted to below ten percent by the end 2010.
The graph represents total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling to Brighton, England visiting four common
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tourist
place over a thirty year time period.

Overall
, pier and pavilion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight increase whereas, art gallery and festival remains in a decline in
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percent
of tourists.

From 1980 to 1995, pavilion tourism rocketed, making number of
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tourist
to more than double.
On the other hand
, pier
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saw
a gradual increase, from ten
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percent
to twelve
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percent
.
In contrast
to this, from 1995 to 2010, pier
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tourists
made its figures climb by
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almost
hundred
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percent
(11 to
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almost
22) where as pavilion numbers plunged to thirty percent.

On the other hand
, art gallery travellers figures fluctated
immensely
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but
booked same spot from 1985 to 2010.
Similarly
, festivals
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tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decline, dropping by
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almost
five
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percent
. Although upto 2010, festival tourism industry plateaued to remain at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
twenty six
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percent
whereas, art gallery plummeted to below ten
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percent
by the
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end
2010.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the different tourist to england

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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