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The line graph shows sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of dirhams.

The line graph shows sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of dirhams. NRVb
The line graph provides information about the sales of gold by Dubai in 2002. Units are measured in dirhams. It is clear from the graph that the revenue gained by selling gold fluctuated at different paces throughout the period shown. In January, exactly 200 million dirhams worth of gold was sold, before rose sharply to reach a peak of 350 million dirhams in March. From that date, there was a considerable drop in the sales of gold until it touched to just over 100 million dirhams in July. Furthermore, this figure jumped to a little over 200 million dirhams in August; however, it experienced a steep decline and plummeted to the same amount just like it was in July in 2000. After reached at approximately 180 million dirhams in October, it leveled off until November, before slightly rising to 190 million dirhams in the last month.
The line graph provides information about the sales of gold by Dubai in 2002. Units
are measured
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the revenue gained by selling gold fluctuated at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
paces throughout the period shown.

In January, exactly 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
worth of gold
was sold
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rose
sharply
to reach a peak of 350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in March. From that date, there was a considerable drop in the sales of gold until it touched to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in July.

Furthermore
, this figure jumped to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in August;
however
, it experienced a steep decline and plummeted to the same amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like it was in July in 2000. After reached at approximately 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in October, it leveled off until November,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
slightly
rising to 190
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in the last month.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of dirhams.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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