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The line graph shows how much money is spent on books in four European countries

The line graph shows how much money is spent on books in four European countries YdVEj
The line graph illustrates data about the expenditure on books of people in four big countries. There are Germany France Italy and Australi between 1995 to 2005. Overall it is clear from the data that Germans spent more amount of money for books than other three european countries period of 10 years. However the quality of money which is pending on books increasing other countries as well. In 1995 Germans people spent 80 million dollars on books. This trend then rising till 1999. After that increase there was a small downfall and it got its highest level in 2005 just under 100 million dollars. At the beginning of the 1995 France and Italy showed the similar results well under 50 million dollars. While Australia was exactly 30 million dollars. All three trends kept growth until 1997. There was a small fluctuation between France Italy and Australia until 2003. At the end of the 2005 that countries reached their highest point Italy just over 60 million dollars France and Australia nearly three quarters
The line graph illustrates data about the expenditure on
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books
of
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people
in four
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big
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countries
. There are Germany France Italy and
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Australi
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1995 and 2005".
between 1995 to 2005
.
Overall
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data that Germans spent more amount of money for
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books
than other three
Possible spelling mistake found.
european
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countries
period of 10 years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the quality of money which is pending on
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books
increasing other
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countries
as well
. In 1995 Germans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent 80
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million
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dollars
on
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books
. This trend then rising till 1999. After that increase there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
downfall and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
its highest level in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100
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million
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dollars
. At the beginning of the 1995 France and Italy
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showed
the similar results well under 50
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Australia was exactly 30
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. All three trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
growth until 1997. There was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fluctuation between France Italy and Australia until 2003. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 2005 that
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countries
reached their highest point Italy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 60
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
France and Australia
nearly
three
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
quarters
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IELTS academic The line graph shows how much money is spent on books in four European countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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