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The line graph illustrates the ratio of male and female smokers in Somaliland between 1960 and 2000.

The line graph illustrates the ratio of male and female smokers in Somaliland between 1960 and 2000. QL2Kx
The line graph illustrates the ratio of male and female smokers in Somaliland between 1960 and 2000. It can be clearly seen from the graph that the number of man smokers decreased significantly while woman smokers increased dramatically. According to the given line graph the rate of man smokers is 600. This was higher than woman smokers kn 1960. Woman smokers is just under 100. However it was increased steadily just under 200 in 1970. In contrast, the ratio of woman smokers didn't change between 1975 and 1980. The number of woman who smoked grew significantly until just about 300 in period of 1975 and 1985. Then the rates of female smokers gradual decrease which finished in 2000 while male smokers also decreased significantly.
The line graph illustrates the ratio of male and female smokers in Somaliland between 1960 and 2000. It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
smokers decreased
significantly
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
smokers increased
dramatically
. According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
smokers is 600. This was higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
smokers kn 1960.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Woman
smokers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it
was increased
steadily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 200 in 1970.
In contrast
, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
smokers didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between 1975 and 1980. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
who smoked grew
significantly
until
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 300 in period of 1975 and 1985. Then the rates of female smokers gradual decrease which finished in 2000 while male smokers
also
decreased
significantly
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the ratio of male and female smokers in Somaliland between 1960 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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