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The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in three age groups of a particular country from 1860 and predicted in 2040.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in three age groups of a particular country from 1860 and predicted in 2040. 2RoL6
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in three age groups of a particular country from 1860 and predicted in 2040. Overall, it can be seen from the line graph that there are 2 trends: upward in the group over 65 years old and downward in aged 15-64 and aged 0-14. The percentage of working-age people hit a peak in 1970 and 1990. At the beginning of the period, just over half of the population was aged 15-64. The rate of working-age slightly fluctuates over 50 years, reaching a peak at 60% in 1970 and 1990. It is predicted that the percentage will witness a significant decline to 45% in 2040. Meanwhile, there was a dramatic drop to 15% in the percentage of 0-14 aged in 2000. It is forecasted that 2040 will see a moderate decrease to 10% in the proportion of minors. Turning to aged over 65, the percentage experienced a widely rose dủng the period. 1960 saw a stay unchanged in the rate of older people at over 10%. There is projected market growth in the percentage of retirement people at 50%
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the population in three age groups of a particular country from 1860 and predicted in 2040.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph that there are 2 trends: upward in the group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and downward in
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aged
15-64 and
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aged
0-14. The
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percentage
of working-age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hit a peak in 1970 and 1990.

At the beginning of the period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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over
half of the population was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
15-64. The rate of working-age
slightly
fluctuates
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over
50 years, reaching a peak at 60% in 1970 and 1990. It
is predicted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
will witness a significant decline to 45% in 2040. Meanwhile, there was a dramatic drop to 15% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 0-14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
in 2000. It
is forecasted
that 2040 will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a moderate decrease to 10% in the proportion of minors.

Turning to
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
experienced a
You used an adverb ('widely') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rose') instead of another adjective.
widely rose
Possible spelling mistake found.
dủng
the period. 1960
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a stay unchanged in the rate of older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
10%. There
is projected
market growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of retirement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at 50%
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in three age groups of a particular country from 1860 and predicted in 2040.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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