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the graph shows the number of fules that was used between 1980 to 2030 in U.S.

the graph shows the number of fules that was used between 1980 to 2030 in U. S. D25XW
The line graphs provide information concerning the amount of renewable and non-renewable energy that was used in the U. S from 1980 to 2030. The figures are given in quadrillions. The information can be grouped into those periods years between 1980 to 2008 and 2008 to 2030. Overall, it is immediately apparent that the consumption of petrol and oil accounted for the biggest proportion throughout the given period of time. In 1980, petrol and oil accounted for the highest percentage of consumption in total by approximately 35 quadrillion units, while coal and natural gas were used by precisely 20 quadrillions and just above 15, respectively. However, there are 3 different sources of energy that was less than 5 quadrillion units, namely nuclear, solar/wind and wind power. The amount of petrol and oil that was consumed raised significantly from exactly 35 to 40 quadrillion units in 2008, the same as coal, its figures increased significantly. For natural gas, its figures fluctuated between 15 and 25 quadrillions, before levelling off at approximately 25 units. The prediction between 2008 to 2030 shows that petrol and oil potentially would be the highest consumption at just below 50 quadrillions in 2030. the consumption of coal is likely to be higher than the previous year, while natural gas will be levelling off at approximately 25. Unfortunately, the figures for nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower show no sign of increasing trend and fluctuated between 0 and 5 quadrillions.
The line graphs provide information concerning the amount of renewable and non-renewable energy that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the U. S from 1980 to 2030. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in quadrillions.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
information can
be grouped
into those periods years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1980 and 2008".
between 1980 to 2008
and 2008 to 2030.
Overall
, it is immediately apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
accounted for the biggest proportion throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

In 1980,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
accounted for the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in total by approximately 35 quadrillion units, while coal and natural gas were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
precisely
20 quadrillions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 15,
respectively
.
However
, there are 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources of energy that was less than 5 quadrillion units,
namely
nuclear, solar/wind and wind power. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
that
was consumed
raised
significantly
from exactly 35 to 40 quadrillion units in 2008, the same as coal, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
increased
significantly
. For natural gas, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
fluctuated between 15 and 25 quadrillions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
levelling off at approximately 25 units.

The prediction
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2008 and 2030".
between 2008 to 2030
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
potentially
would be the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 50 quadrillions in 2030.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of coal is likely to be higher than the previous year, while natural gas will be levelling off at approximately 25. Unfortunately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of increasing trend and fluctuated between 0 and 5 quadrillions.
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IELTS academic the graph shows the number of fules that was used between 1980 to 2030 in U. S.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
240 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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