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The line graph gives information about the percentage of spending on five different items in a European country from 1960 to 2000.

The line graph gives information about the percentage of spending on five different items in a European country from 1960 to 2000. LwJ3K
The line graph gives information about the percentage of spending on five different items in a European country from 1960 to 2000. Overall, most of money was spent on Food, while the figure for Fuel/Energy took the lowest position. The expenditure witnessed a downward trend on 4 categories namely ( Food, Leisure, Clothing, Fuel/Energy), whereas the figure for Transport witnessed an upward trend. At the beginning, Food accounted for the highest percentage of total expenditure at nearly 33% then it dropped rapidly to under 15% in the given period. By contrast, the amount of budget spent on Transport rose slightly from under 10% in 1960 to about 14% and became the highest figure in the last year. Regarding Leisure, the figure for that declined gradually from nearly 19% to 11% throughout the given period. Similarly, the amount of spending on Clothing and Fuel/Energy witnessed downward trends from 10% to 5% and 6% to 4% respectively from 1960 to 2000
The line graph gives information about the percentage of spending on five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items in a European country from 1960 to 2000.

Overall
,
Consider using "most money" or "most of the money".
most of money
was spent
on Food, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Fuel/Energy took the lowest position. The expenditure witnessed a downward trend on 4 categories
namely
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Food, Leisure, Clothing, Fuel/Energy), whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Transport witnessed an upward trend.

At the beginning, Food accounted for the highest percentage of total expenditure at
nearly
33% then it dropped
rapidly
to under 15% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. By contrast, the amount of budget spent on Transport rose
slightly
from under 10% in 1960 to about 14% and became the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in the last year.

Regarding Leisure, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for that declined
gradually
from
nearly
19% to 11% throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
Similarly
, the amount of spending on Clothing and Fuel/Energy witnessed downward trends from 10% to 5% and 6% to 4%
respectively
from 1960 to 2000
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IELTS academic The line graph gives information about the percentage of spending on five different items in a European country from 1960 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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