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The line graph elucidates the accurate information on infant mortality and life expectancy over 22 years from 1970 to 1992.

The line graph elucidates the accurate information on infant mortality and life expectancy over 22 years from 1970 to 1992. D6amo
The line graph elucidates the accurate information on infant mortality and life expectancy over 22 years from 1970 to 1992. The life expectancy is measured in years whereas the infant mortality rate is measured per 1000 births. Overall, the life span had increased as years passed. At the start of the period, the number of babies die was at the peak but later by the final year it had reduced. So over the years infant mortality and life expectancy rate improved. With regards to the infant mortality rate, 70 per 1000 had been dying in the year 1970. As years passed, it dramatically fell down to 20 per 1000 babies in the year 1992. Education and modernization played an important role in reducing the rate. Hence, by the end of the period, it was the lowest. On the other hand, the life span in the year 1970 was 60 years. As years passed, it changed and had risen up to 70 years in the year 1992. So, the life expectancy rate was at the peak in the final year.
The line graph elucidates the accurate information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy over 22 years from 1970 to 1992. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy
is measured
in years whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is measured
per 1000 births.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span had increased as years passed. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the period, the number of babies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
was at the peak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later by the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
over the years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, 70 per 1000 had been dying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1970. As years passed, it
dramatically
fell down to 20 per 1000 babies in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1992. Education and modernization played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
Hence
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, it was the lowest.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1970 was 60 years. As years passed, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and had risen up to 70 years in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1992.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was at the peak in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The line graph elucidates the accurate information on infant mortality and life expectancy over 22 years from 1970 to 1992.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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