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The line graph depicts the percentage of Australians who were born in Asia, the United Kingdom, or other countries.

The line graph depicts the percentage of Australians who were born in Asia, the United Kingdom, or other countries. WgWGD
The line chart demonstrates the proportion of people living in Australia which came from various places in the world like Asia, the UK, and others between 1976 and 2011. Overall, the percentage of people in three categories witnessed a steady increase during the period. It is also clear that the rate of British people underwent a downward trend, while the proportion of Asia and many more showed an opposite pattern. The percentage of people in the UK, starting at nearly 15% in the first period, ranking the first among three categories. Whereas the rate of people which were born in Asia and other regions was a tiny over 10% and around 3%, respectively. The figures decreased steadily to accurately 10% for British people and approximately 8% for others in the next ten years, compared to precisely 5% for Asian people. After that, the figure for people living in Australia who came from the UK dropped dramatically to 5% in the last year of the period. By contrast, the proportion of people who were born in Asia went up remarkably to over 10% in 2006, after which the figure continues to increase steadily to exactly 15% in the following five years. Similarly, people living in Australia who came from other regions underwent a significant increase to reach a peak of about 15% in 2006, on the contrary later declined slightly to about 13% in the last year. The figure for the total of people in three various categories went up from around 23% to 25% during the period.
The line chart demonstrates the proportion of
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people
living in Australia which came from various places in the world like Asia, the UK,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
between 1976 and 2011.

Overall
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in three categories witnessed a steady increase during the period. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the rate of British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
underwent a downward trend, while the proportion of Asia and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an opposite pattern.

The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the UK, starting at
nearly
15% in the
first
period, ranking the
first
among three categories. Whereas the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
were born
in Asia and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions was a tiny over 10% and around 3%,
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
decreased
steadily
to
accurately
10% for British
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people
and approximately 8% for others in the
next
ten years, compared to
precisely
5% for Asian
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people
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in Australia who came from the UK dropped
dramatically
to 5% in the last
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year
of the period.

By contrast, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
in Asia went up
remarkably
to over 10% in 2006, after which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
continues to increase
steadily
to exactly 15% in the following five years.
Similarly
,
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people
living in Australia who came from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions underwent a significant increase to reach a peak of about 15% in 2006,
on the contrary
later declined
slightly
to about 13% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in three various categories went up from around 23% to 25% during the period.
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IELTS academic The line graph depicts the percentage of Australians who were born in Asia, the United Kingdom, or other countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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