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The line graph compares the proportion of people in a particular city who went to music concerts over a 5-year period (2010-2015), split by age.

The line graph compares the proportion of people in a particular city who went to music concerts over a 5-year period (2010-2015), split by age. x2EMN
The line graph compares the proportion of people in a particular city who went to music concerts over a 5-year period (2010-2015), split by age. Overall, the youngest age group overtook those aged 45-54 to become the group with the highest level of music concert attendance, while elderly people’s participation was lowest. In addition, the greatest increase in attendance levels was recorded for the youngest group. In 2010, just over 50% of people aged 45 to 54 attended music concerts, while the figures for the 16 to 24-year-olds and the 25 to 44-year-olds were lower, at 40% each. One year later, however, the percentage of the youngest group going to music concerts surpassed that of the middle-aged group, increasing steadily to about 70% in 2015. The figures for the 45-54 and 25-44 age groups ended at around 52% and 49%, respectively, in 2015. Turning to the two remaining groups, the 55-64 age group’s attendance at music concerts declined slightly from about 25% in 2010 to approximately 22% in 2015, while the figure for the elderly who are aged 75 or over rose from 10% to just above 20%, despite some small drops in between.
The line graph compares the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a particular city who went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
over a 5-year period (2010-2015), split by age.

Overall
, the youngest age
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group
overtook those aged 45-54 to become the
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group
with the highest level of
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
attendance, while elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s participation was lowest.
In addition
, the greatest increase in attendance levels
was recorded
for the youngest group.

In 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 50% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 45 to 54 attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
, while the figures for the 16 to 24-year-olds and the 25 to 44-year-olds were lower, at 40% each. One year later,
however
, the percentage of the youngest
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group
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
surpassed that of the middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, increasing
steadily
to about 70% in 2015. The figures for the 45-54 and 25-44 age
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groups
ended at around 52% and 49%,
respectively
, in 2015.

Turning to the two remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, the 55-64 age
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group’s
attendance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
declined
slightly
from about 25% in 2010 to approximately 22% in 2015, while the figure for the elderly who
are aged
75 or over rose from 10% to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20%, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
drops in between.
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the proportion of people in a particular city who went to music concerts over a 5-year period (2010-2015), split by age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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