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The line graph compares the number of people aged 65 and over in the three different countries

The line graph compares the number of people aged 65 and over in the three different countries PLOJJ
The line graph compares the number of people aged 65 and over in the three different countries, namely Japan, Sweden, and the USA since 1940 with predictions to 2040. Overall, there are considerable upward trends in the percentage of people aged 65 and over in the three countries over the given period. It’s noticeable that Japan’s elderly population is predicted to have the sharpest increase. As is shown, at the beginning of the reported period, the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Japan was 5%, followed by a slight growth to about 7% in 2020. After that, this rate is expected to have a rocket and peak at about 27% in 2040. By contrast, in the USA, the population rate started at under 9% in 1940 before a steady increase to 15% in 1980 and remained almost unchanged until 2020. Predictions show that this proportion will peak at 23% in 2040. In Sweden, a fluctuating climb in the percentage of old people from nearly 7% in 1940 to under 20% in 2020. Predictably, the figure for Sweden will continue the existing trend and peak at around 25% in the final year.
The line graph compares the number of
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people
aged 65 and
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over
in the three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
Japan, Sweden, and the USA since 1940 with predictions to 2040.

Overall
, there are considerable upward trends in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
in the three countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. It’s noticeable that Japan’s elderly population
is predicted
to have the sharpest increase.

As
is shown
, at the beginning of the reported period, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
in Japan was 5%, followed by a slight growth to about 7% in 2020. After that, this rate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to have a rocket and peak at about 27% in 2040.

By contrast, in the USA, the population rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at under 9% in 1940
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a steady increase to 15% in 1980 and remained almost unchanged until 2020. Predictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that this proportion will peak at 23% in 2040.

In Sweden, a fluctuating climb in the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
nearly
7% in 1940 to under 20% in 2020.
Predictably
, the figure for Sweden will continue the existing trend and peak at around 25% in the final year.
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the number of people aged 65 and over in the three different countries

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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