Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the line graph below shows the percentage of user connected to the internet from the period of 2004 to 2011

the line graph below shows the percentage of user connected to the internet from the period of 2004 to 2011 dl6P6
The line graph illustrates the world wide web clients in Ha Noi from 2004 to 2011. Overall, despite the graph showing some fluctuation in Professionals and Students at first, the trend between Ha Noi users is rising upward. In 2004, the internet seem to be under development, therefore the proportion of consumers was low. Professionals and children have the highest usage, there was a considerable opposition to students were the lowest. Professionals are taking the lead at 35%, children at 30%, then only a small fraction of 12% contributed by students. By the end of the graph phase, all elements have undergone profound fluctuations. Professionals users were varied, the number of clients increased by 55% in 2007 but then fell back to the original level in 2008. Consequently surpassed by Students users in the same year, about 70%. Students' contributions continued to rise dramatically, reaching a peak of 90% in 2009. Nevertheless, a significant majority diminished to 30% by the end of 2011. In contrast, Children are the most consistent users, it rose three-fold from 30% in 2004 to 90%, the highest by the end of the period.
The line graph illustrates the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
clients in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
from 2004 to 2011.

Overall
, despite the graph showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
and Students at
first
, the trend between Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
is rising upward.

In 2004, the internet seem to be under development,
therefore
the proportion of consumers was low.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
and children have the highest usage, there was a considerable opposition to students were the lowest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
are taking the lead at 35%, children at 30%, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction of 12% contributed by students.

By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the graph phase, all elements have undergone profound fluctuations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
were varied
, the number of clients increased by 55% in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then fell back to the original level in 2008.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
surpassed by Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in the same year, about 70%. Students' contributions continued to rise
dramatically
, reaching a peak of 90% in 2009.
Nevertheless
, a significant majority diminished to 30% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2011.
In contrast
, Children are the most consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
, it rose three-fold from 30% in 2004 to 90%, the highest by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the line graph below shows the percentage of user connected to the internet from the period of 2004 to 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    blllll is blll as this lol
    The line graph illustrates the average cost that American customers spent on mobile and landline phone services annually from 2001 to 2010. Overall, spending on residential phone services dramatically declined, while popularity of mobile services increased sharply throughout a decade. In 2001, spe...
  • 6band
    all is so good my god thank you
    The provided graph shows information on yearly outlay on cell phone and residential phone services over a 9 year period, starting from 2001 up to 2010. Overall, the spending on cell phone services showed an upward trend, whereas it was not the same case for the residential phone services. In 2001,...
  • 6band
    The maps illustrate how the university sports centre is going to be reconstructed in the future from its current setup.
    The maps illustrate how the university sports centre is going to be reconstructed in the future from its current setup. Looking from the overall perspective, it is clear that outdoor courts and main building are going to be combined under a big construction. Many other brand-new facilities will be ...
  • 6band
    The first stage of the brick manufacturing process is when a digger takes a clay from the ground.
    The first stage of the brick manufacturing process is when a digger takes a clay from the ground. After that, the clay is filtered by a metal grid on a roller where it is transferred to the next level of the process. The next stage in the cycle is to add sand and water on the filtered clay so that i...
  • 6band
    the table below shows information about age,
    The table highlights data on the information about life-extension and population who are poor in three distinct states in the USA. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the proportion of people aged under 18 in Utah is the highest. In addition, the percentage of Utah was lower than that of states in...
  • 6band
    Line graph about the percentage of renewable power produced in 6 different countries
    The line graph demonstrates the proportion of renewable powers produced in 6 distinct nations during the 3-period, starting from 2010. Overall, it is noted that the research saw the increase in both 5 countries; while, the data of India seemed unchanged during the period shown. Additionally, the fi...





Get more results for topic:
  • the line graph below shows the percentage of user connected to the internet from the period of 2004 to 2011