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The line graph below shows the consumption of a range of foods per person in Australia between 1939 and 1999.

The line graph below shows the consumption of a range of foods per person in Australia between 1939 and 1999. yRwOD
This line chart illustartes about the food pattern of person’s in Australia for the period of 1939 to 1999 (over 6 decades) of consumed vegetables, fruit, meat, bread and seafood (kg per person per year). It clearly seen that people highly demanded for vegetables and it was remained 120 to 160 kg per person over the 6 decades. According to the line chart, seafoods consumptions always stood at the same range between 1939 to1999. When consider about the bread and meat consumption, there is fluctuation in range of consumption during the period. Bread consumption and meat consumption had reach their top range in 1959 and 1979 respectively. In 1979, both fruit and meat consumption range are same but after that fruit consumption shows rapid increase to the range 140 Kg per person per year and meat fell down to the range of 80 kg per person per year. At the start of the 1939, fruit consumption stood at 80 kg per person per year and in 1999, there was dramatic increase to the 140 kg per person per year. Overall, during this 6 decades, people were adapted to consume more vegetables and fruits than the meat items. Specially, people were rejected to consumed seafood food all the 6 decades.
This line chart
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illustartes
about the food pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
in Australia for the period of 1939 to 1999 (over 6 decades) of consumed vegetables,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
, bread and seafood (kg per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year)
. It
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
highly
demanded for vegetables and it
was remained
120 to 160 kg per
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person
over the 6 decades.

According to the line chart, seafoods
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
always stood at the same
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range
between 1939 to1999. When
Did you mean simply "consider the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about the
bread and
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meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, there is fluctuation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
during the period. Bread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "reached".
reach
their top
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range
in 1959 and 1979
respectively
.

In 1979, both
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fruit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
are same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
rapid increase to the
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range
140 Kg per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
fell down to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 80 kg per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the 1939,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
stood at 80 kg per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and in 1999, there was dramatic increase to the 140 kg per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per year.

Overall
, during this 6 decades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were adapted
to consume more vegetables and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
items.
Specially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were rejected
to consumed seafood food all the 6 decades.

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the consumption of a range of foods per person in Australia between 1939 and 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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