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The line graph below provide information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010.

The line graph below provide information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010. ljdWK
The line graph illustrates the amount of money which was earned monthly by four restaurants in a town in 2010. Overall, it is clear that there were considerable upwards trends in the income of delicacy, evening paradise and grand fiesta, while while the earning of spicy fortune witnessed a considerable fall over the year. The most striking fact to emerge from the line graph is that in January 2010, the earning of Spicy Fortune was 1, 60, 000 dollars, while, Grand Fiesta was at one lac and this figure halved in case of Evening Paradise. One the other hand, Delicacy had as same as half income of Evening Paradise, 25 thousand dollars to be more precise. There were major rises and falls in the earnings of Evening Paradise and Spicy forerun from January to December and ended with approximately three times less ( 50, 000 ) and four folds extra ( 1, 00, 000 ) earnings respectively. As per the remaining statistics, the income of Grand Fiesta showed a slight slump till August before reaching at it's previous earning point, at 1 lac dollars to be exact. From August to December, Grand Fiesta managed to reach it's ever highest monthly earning in a single year around 140 thousand dollars. On the other hand, growth of Evening Paradise had nosedived after keeping increasing to 1lac dollars. Then later somewhere between September and December it surpassed Spicy fortune and Grand Fiesta and reached on the vertex with around 2 lac dollars monthly income
The line graph illustrates the amount of money which
was earned
monthly by four restaurants in a town in 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there were considerable upwards trends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of delicacy, evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paradise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiesta
,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
while while
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spicy
fortune witnessed a considerable fall over the year. The most striking fact to emerge from the line graph is that in January 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spicy
Fortune was 1, 60, 000
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dollars
, while,
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Grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fiesta
was at one lac and this figure halved in case of Evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paradise
.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, Delicacy had as same as half
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income
of Evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paradise
, 25 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
to be more precise. There were major rises and falls in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
of Evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paradise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spicy
Possible spelling mistake found.
forerun
from January to December and ended with approximately three times less
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
50, 000
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and four folds extra
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
1, 00, 000
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
respectively
.

As per the remaining statistics, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fiesta
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight slump till August
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching
Did you mean "at its previous"?
at it's previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
point, at 1 lac
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dollars
to be exact. From August to December,
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Grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fiesta
managed to reach it's ever highest monthly
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earning
in a single year around 140 thousand
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dollars
.
On the other hand
, growth of Evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paradise
had nosedived after keeping increasing to 1lac
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. Then later somewhere between September and December it surpassed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spicy
fortune and
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Grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fiesta
and reached on the vertex with around 2 lac
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
monthly
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
income
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IELTS academic The line graph below provide information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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