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the information below shows the result of a new council speeding fire system of Lanstone

the information below shows the result of a new council speeding fire system of Lanstone n6YMo
The table describes the number of speed fine, whereas the line graph elaborates the number of accidents that took placed in the town named Lanestone from the year 1985 to 2015. Overall, it can be observed that rate of road accidents decreased gradually on the contrary number of speeding fines showed a fluctuating trend throughout the given time span. Firstly, after the implementation of fining system in 1992, there was no fine collected up to 1995. However, in 1995 the number of people which paid the fine was 350, which rose to 250 in next five years in the year 2000. Moreover, 610 number of people were noticed in 2005, which slightly decreased to 590, at the end of the period in 2005. In regards to, road accidents rate underwent a downward trend in three decades. In 1990, 250 people were accounted which increased slightly to 275 in 1990. However, after 1990 the rate drastically plunged up to 175 person in the year 1905. Then after it continue to decrease significantly. Moreover, in 2015it noticed the least accident rates 100, which was lowest among all the given years.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
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number
of speed
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fine
, whereas the line graph elaborates the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that took placed in the town named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lanestone
from the
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year
1985 to 2015.
Overall
, it can
be observed
that
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rate
of road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
decreased
gradually
on the contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of speeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuating trend throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time span.
Firstly
, after the implementation of fining system in 1992, there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
collected up to 1995.
However
, in 1995 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which paid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
was 350, which rose to 250 in
next
five years in the
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year
2000.
Moreover
, 610
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were noticed
in 2005, which
slightly
decreased to 590, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period in 2005.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
In regards to
, road
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accidents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
underwent a downward trend in three decades. In 1990, 250
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were accounted
which increased
slightly
to 275 in 1990.
However
, after 1990 the
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rate
drastically
plunged up to 175
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
in the
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year
1905. Then after it continue to decrease
significantly
.
Moreover
, in 2015it noticed the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
100, which was lowest among all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
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IELTS academic the information below shows the result of a new council speeding fire system of Lanstone

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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