Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The illustration compares activities that bring people under 30 and over 30 happiness.

The illustration compares activities that bring people under 30 and over 30 happiness. wx1rr
The illustration compares activities that bring people under 30 and over 30 happiness. What stands out in the charts is that both groups of people attain happiness mostly from achievement at work and doing hobbies, while secondary factors are different. To begin with, 18% of young people find attractive appearance as one of the main sources of happiness, while financial security is important for 20% of people aged 30. Furthermore, other Doing hobbies aspects that differ in these two groups are traveling and being with family. Younger generation prefers traveling, compared to their older counterparts who prefer to spend time with their family, both making up around 15%. When it comes to the similarities, both groups of 15% people achieve most happiness from career people unc success and doing hobbies at approximately 32% and 22% respectively. Additionally, there are other factors account for just over 10%.
The illustration compares activities that bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 30 and over 30 happiness.

What stands out in the charts is that both groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attain happiness
mostly
from achievement at work and doing hobbies, while secondary factors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 18% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find attractive appearance as one of the main sources of happiness, while financial security is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 30.
Furthermore
, other Doing hobbies aspects that differ in these two groups are traveling and being with family. Younger generation prefers traveling, compared to their older counterparts who prefer to spend time with their family, both making up around 15%.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the similarities, both groups of 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve most happiness from career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
unc
success and doing hobbies at approximately 32% and 22%
respectively
.
Additionally
, there are other factors account for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The illustration compares activities that bring people under 30 and over 30 happiness.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    The diagram shows the process of making cement and concrete.
    The provided process illustrates the information about the distinct steps which are taken to make cement and concrete production. According to the presentation, initially, limestone and clay are crushed with the help of heavy roller to make powder and that powder is mixed into the mixer. Afterwards...
  • 6.5band
    carbon dioxide emissions produced
    The chart explains the amount of carbon dioxide emissions produced per person in several countries in Europe: United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal for 40 years, starting from 1967. In Italy and Portugal, the number was continuously increasing, Italy’s CO2 emission almost doubled from around ...
  • 6band
    As we can see in the chart
    As we can see in the chart, about 80% of Students, under 26, studying to gain a good career. On the other hand, older students who are over 49 mostly studying a subject for interest. If I want to explain the detail of the chart, 80% of under 26 students go to university for achieving a good job and ...
  • 6band
    The line graph shows the information about per person emission of carbon dioxide in different countries 1967 and 2007.
    The line graph reveals the information about the emission of carbon dioxide by per person in four different countries during 1967 and 2007 and data has been calibrated in metric tonnes. Overall, it is lucid that uk witnessed for largest chunk in every year as compare to other nations. However Sweden...
  • 6band
    The line graph displays the proportion of test outcomes in England and London from 2001 to 2006.
    The line graph displays the proportion of test outcomes in England and London from 2001 to 2006. Overall, London experienced a constant surge throughout the period whereas England oscillated briefy then later witnessed a gradual soar. To begin with, in the year 2001, London was ranked second after...
  • 6.5band
    chart shows the usage of electricalappliances compare the data
    The line graphs compare the differences in home ownership of electrical gadgets and the number of hours spent by each family performing house chores like washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning in a single nation over a ninety-nine-year period. Overall, although no household owned a refrigera...





Get more results for topic:
  • The illustration compares activities that bring people under 30 and over 30 happiness.