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THE GRAPHS SHOWS PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL EXPORTS MADE BY A COUNTRY WITHIN FIVE YEARS

THE GRAPHS SHOWS PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL EXPORTS MADE BY A COUNTRY WITHIN FIVE YEARS gGLA1
The first graph given depicts the total number of fuels sold overseas by a country and the second picture shows the shipping of selected items that were sent outside of the country. the data is recorded with sales of five years from 2000 to 2005. The total value of fuel that was exported decline for the first three initial years. On the second hand, manufactured goods were earned foremost sales for the country at the end. in detail, the ratio of fuel grows significantly over the last three years. Even though it collapsed at the beginning; in 2000, fuel sales accounted for 3 million and plummet for the following two years. After that, it hit an increase of 5 million and made up the total of more than 40 million at last period. As a reference to fuel food and manufactured goods, fuel fluctuated and end at an exceeding ratio than the previous amount. food exported decrease sharply. As it was more than 40 million in the first year, the last amount was 2 million. On the other hand. manufactured goods remained stable throughout the entire course of the graph.
The
first
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
depicts the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
sold overseas by a country and the second picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the shipping of selected items that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
data
is recorded
with sales of five years from 2000 to 2005.

The total value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
that
was exported
decline for the
first
three initial years. On the second hand, manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
were earned
foremost sales for the country at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
detail, the ratio of
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fuel
grows
significantly
over the last three years.
Even though
it collapsed at the beginning; in 2000,
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fuel
sales accounted for 3
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million
and plummet for the following two years. After that, it hit an increase of 5
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million
and made up the total of more than 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
at last period.

As a reference to
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fuel
food and manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
fluctuated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at an exceeding ratio than the previous amount.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
food
exported decrease
sharply
. As it was more than 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
first
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year
, the last amount was 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
On the other hand
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
remained stable throughout the entire course of the graph.
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IELTS academic THE GRAPHS SHOWS PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL EXPORTS MADE BY A COUNTRY WITHIN FIVE YEARS

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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