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The graphs shows average annual expenditure on cellphone and residential phone service between 2001 and 2010

The graphs shows average annual expenditure on cellphone and residential phone service between 2001 and 2010 15oOL
the chart illustrates the average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone service between 2001 and 2010. in general, based on the US bureau of labour and consumer expenditure service, the expenditure of cell phone has steadly increased than the residential phone within 10 years. To begin with, in 2001 the usage of residential phone shows an upward trend and the annual was about $700. on the contrary, the cell phone service was ten times lesser than the residential phone ($200). on the next year the residential phone service expenditure declines slightly to $680, whereas the cellphone expenses has sharply raised to $300. Also, it can be noted, in the following years, the expenditure of cell phone was about $300 in 2002 later it skyrocketed to $800 with a very slight fluctuation in 2002 to 2003 and 2007 to 2008. meanwhile the expenditure of residential phone users has gradually dropped to $400 from $700. The above analysis shows that, people still use residential phone, despites the rapid growth in the cellphone users.
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the
chart illustrates the average annual
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expenditure
on
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cell
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phone
and
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residential
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
between 2001 and 2010.
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in
general, based on the US bureau of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and consumer
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expenditure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, the
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expenditure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
increased than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
within 10 years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 2001 the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an upward trend and the annual was about $700.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the contrary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
was ten times lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
($200).
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on
the
next
year the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
declines
slightly
to $680, whereas the cellphone expenses has
sharply
raised to $300.

Also
, it can
be noted
, in the following years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was about $300 in 2002 later it skyrocketed to $800 with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slight fluctuation in 2002 to 2003 and 2007 to 2008.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
meanwhile
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
users has
gradually
dropped to $400 from $700.

The above analysis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
despites
the rapid growth in the cellphone users.
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IELTS academic The graphs shows average annual expenditure on cellphone and residential phone service between 2001 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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