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The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. jRbm1
The graph illustrates the habits of people, who likes drinking and buying coffee and tea in five different Australian cities in the last 4 weeks and which kind of hot beverages people buy the most. As it is shown in the chart, fresh coffee was the popular and most sales in Sydeny, Melbourne, and Hobart by around 65%. Besides in Bristane, fresh coffee bought by around 55% of city residents. The second place in sales was instant coffee in Sydeny, Melbourne, Brisbane and Hobart by maximum approximately 55% of customers bought instant coffee and by minimum approximately 45%. However, in Adelaide both fresh and instant coffee almost has the same percentage of tastes about 50%. While the least kind of hot beverages and least sales was tea in all five Australian cities, customers went to a cafe for buying either coffee or tea in the last 4 week. The percentage of city residents in Sydeny and Melboune were about 45%, in Hobart was almost 40% and for both Brisbane and Adelaide were 35%.
The graph illustrates the habits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who likes drinking and buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in five
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different
Australian
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cities
in the last 4 weeks and which kind of hot beverages
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the most.

As it
is shown
in the chart, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was the popular and most sales in
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Sydeny
, Melbourne, and Hobart by around 65%.
Besides
in
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Bristane
, fresh
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coffee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by around 55% of city residents.

The second place in sales was instant
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coffee
in
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Sydeny
, Melbourne, Brisbane and Hobart by maximum approximately 55% of customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and by minimum approximately 45%.
However
, in Adelaide both fresh and instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
almost has the same percentage of tastes about 50%.

While the least kind of hot beverages and least sales was tea in all five Australian
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cities
, customers went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for buying either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea in the last 4 week. The percentage of city residents in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sydeny
and
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Melboune
were about 45%, in Hobart was almost 40% and for both Brisbane and Adelaide were 35%.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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