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The graphs illustrate the total and commencing number of students (foreign and domestic) studying in Australian universities in the year 2001-2010.

The graphs illustrate the total and commencing number of students (foreign and domestic) studying in Australian universities in the year 2001-2010. OGKN
The graphs illustrate the total and commencing number of students (foreign and domestic) studying in Australian universities in the year 2001-2010. Overall, there are significant differences in the pattern of the graphs. The total and commencing number of students enrolled in higher educations were increasing over the ten years compared to the local students. The number of overseas students has spiked steadily over the given period, which started at 20, 000 and ended over 80, 000 students. Eventhough the number of commencing foreign students showed an upward trend too, the increment value were not as constant as the former. It initiated at around 12, 000 in 2001 and rose until 60, 000 students in 2009 before the end of the period. In regards to the local students, the total number of enrolments started with a higher numbers compared to the foreign students which is 400, 000. It then gradually climbed to 600, 000 in the year 2007, before it began to stable until 2010. The commencing students' figures had a spike about 40, 000 in the first two years before fluctuating less than 10% in each year up till the year 2010.
The graphs illustrate the total and
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commencing
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number
of
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students
(foreign and domestic) studying in Australian universities in the
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year
2001-2010.

Overall
, there are significant differences in the pattern of the graphs. The total and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in higher educations were increasing over the ten years compared to the local students.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has spiked
steadily
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 20, 000 and ended over 80, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend too, the increment value were not as constant as the former. It initiated at around 12, 000 in 2001 and rose until 60, 000
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students
in 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
In regards to
the local
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students
, the total
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with a higher
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numbers
compared to the foreign
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students
which is 400, 000. It then
gradually
climbed to 600, 000 in the
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year
2007,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it began to stable until 2010. The
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commencing
students' figures had a spike about 40, 000 in the
first
two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fluctuating less than 10% in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
up till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs illustrate the total and commencing number of students (foreign and domestic) studying in Australian universities in the year 2001-2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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