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The graphs below show the percentage of secondary school leavers in Australia who were employed, unemployed or who pursued further education in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the percentage of secondary school leavers in Australia who were employed, unemployed or who pursued further education in 1980, 1990 and 2000. 1oW3X
The given pie charts compare the proportion of secondary school graduates who went for higher education, who got employment and those who did not find jobs in three years, 1980, 1990 and 2000 in Australia. / Overall, it is clearly seen that maximum Australian secondary school graduates were employed in 1980. In contrast, in 1990 and 2000, majority of the Australian graduates went for further education. In 1980, half of the secondary school leavers got employment. By contrast, a significantly lesser proportion (38% in 1990 and 37% in 2000) got jobs. The percentage of graduates who went for further education showed an opposite trend. In 1980, 40% went for higher education but the figures were 50% and 55% in 1990 and 2000 respectively. Finally, the percentage of secondary school leavers who didn't get jobs showed no particular trend. The percentage of unemployed in 1980, 1990 and 2000 was 10%, 12% and 8% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts compare the proportion of
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secondary
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
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who
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went
for higher education,
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employment and those
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who
did not find jobs in three years, 1980, 1990 and 2000 in Australia. /

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that maximum Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were employed
in 1980.
In contrast
, in 1990 and 2000,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for
further
education.

In 1980, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employment. By contrast, a
significantly
lesser proportion (38% in 1990 and 37% in 2000)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jobs. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for
further
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an opposite trend. In 1980, 40%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for higher education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figures were 50% and 55% in 1990 and 2000
respectively
.

Finally
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
no particular trend. The percentage of unemployed in 1980, 1990 and 2000 was 10%, 12% and 8%
respectively
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the percentage of secondary school leavers in Australia who were employed, unemployed or who pursued further education in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graphs below show the percentage of secondary school leavers in Australia who were employed, unemployed or who pursued further education in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.