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The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and also show the average cinema visits of ages group from 1999to2000.

The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and also show the average cinema visits of ages group from 1999to2000. rYb8n
The two graph is given which is providing an information about that data regarding The cinema attendance in Australia and also show up the mean cinema visits of different age groups between 1999 in 2000 year average. Overall, it is obvious that attend of population has been grabbed however, frequency average have being on Ungrabbed. According to given graph, 1997 to 2000, Attendence is the increasing percentage and 1996 IN 1999 are the decreased percentage. which was followed by the frequency 1996 to 1997 was been the inclined and moreover 1998 to 2000 are are being the declined. Heading towards multiple line graph, by having 12-24 is the one dot is directions in the other dot. 25-35 high is second line direction in2000 dot. 35-49 higher ist dot line. moving further, is the 50+ highest containing is the line graph
The two
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graph
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
which is providing an information about that data regarding The cinema attendance in Australia and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up the mean cinema visits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups between 1999 in 2000 year average.
Overall
, it is obvious that attend of population has
been grabbed
however
, frequency average have being on
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Ungrabbed
.

According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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graph
, 1997 to 2000,
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Attendence
is the increasing percentage and 1996 IN 1999 are the decreased percentage.
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which
was followed
by the frequency 1996 to 1997
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was been
the inclined and
moreover
1998 to 2000
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
being the declined. Heading towards multiple
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line
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graph
, by having 12-24 is the one
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dot
is directions in the other
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dot
. 25-35 high is second
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line
direction in2000
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dot
. 35-49 higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
ist
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dot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moving
further
, is the 50+ highest containing is the
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line
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
graph
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and also show the average cinema visits of ages group from 1999to2000.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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