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The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The visualized data depicts the proportion of population who owned the computer over a period of 2002 to 2010. Moreover the other bar chart categorizes the same information based on the education. Overall, the population which possesses the computers tend to increase in a slow but consistent manner. Meanwhile the percentage of people who have no high school diploma has increased significantly in 2010. In fact the population of high school graduates and students in college also has a considerable change when compared with 2002. Despite having around 58 % of population having a computer in 2002, only 12 % belong to the population who have an high school diploma. on the other hand, In 2010 this number has grown enormously to whooping 40% among the overall 70 % population in 2010. Similarly, The population which haven't completed their college also increased from 50 % to 82 % in 2010. However, The highest proportion of people who owns a computer belong the Bachelor's degree and the postgraduate qualification group.
The visualized data depicts the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the computer over a period of 2002 to 2010.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the other bar chart categorizes the same information based on the education.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
which possesses the computers tend to increase in a slow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consistent manner.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no high school diploma has increased
significantly
in 2010. In fact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of high school graduates and students in college
also
has a considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
when compared with 2002.

Despite having around 58 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
having a computer in 2002,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12 % belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
high school diploma.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand, In 2010 this number has grown
enormously
to whooping 40% among the
overall
70 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2010.
Similarly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
which haven't completed their college
also
increased from 50 % to 82 % in 2010.

However
, The highest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a computer belong the Bachelor's degree and the postgraduate qualification group.
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IELTS academic The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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