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The graph shows use of transport and car used in Edmonton

The graph shows use of transport and car used in Edmonton 22bM
• The rendered circular chart and tabular chart depicts information regarding transport and car use in Edmonton. 1. To begin with, it can be clearly seen that people used buses and taxi with same proportion approximetly 10 percent and usage of light rail transit was 35 percent whereas most stricking feature of car usage in Edmonton was 45 percent. Moving further 55 percent of car were used for their commute to work while people used 45 percent of car for their business work moreover parents used their transport vehicle to drop their children to school was 40 percent however car used for shopping and for leisure activity was with same ratio about 15 percent Overall it is lucid that usage of car more than other transport vehicles and least of cars were used for shopping and to do leisure activities. . .
• The rendered circular chart and tabular chart depicts information regarding transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in Edmonton. 1. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
buses and taxi with same proportion
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximetly
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and usage of light rail transit was 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
whereas most
Possible spelling mistake found.
stricking
feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
usage in Edmonton was 45 percent.

Moving
further
55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for their commute to work while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for their business work
moreover
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their transport vehicle to drop their children to school was 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for shopping and for leisure activity was with same ratio about 15 percent

Overall
it is lucid that usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
more than other transport vehicles and least of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for shopping and to do leisure activities.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows use of transport and car used in Edmonton

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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