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more than half of new cars sold in Norway in 2020 were electric

more than half of new cars sold in Norway in 2020 were electric Y7Lj
The given line graph shows information about the percentage of electric and all other vehicles selling dynamics in Norway for the last ten years from 2011 to 2020. Overall, the line graph display how demands for electric cars risen since 2011 and buying needs to all other vehicles significant decreassed from that period. Looking of the details, the trend to buy electric cars by norvegians motioned in 2011. In a during 5 years electric car sales increased marginally around 18%. Subsequently, electric turnovers at the end of 2020 increased 3 times to 54%. If we pay attention to all other vehicles percentage sales we can see it started from 99%. Which was the highest period for them. Consumer needs decreased year on year and in 2018 the percentage sales for all other vehicles significant decreased and turned out 65%. Finally, the sales all other vehicles stopped at 56% at the end 2020.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information about the percentage of
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electric
and all
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
selling dynamics in Norway for the last ten years from 2011 to 2020.

Overall
, the line graph display how demands for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
cars risen since 2011 and buying needs to all
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other
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vehicles
significant
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decreassed
from that period.

Looking of the
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details
, the trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
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electric
cars by
Possible spelling mistake found.
norvegians
motioned in 2011. In a during 5 years
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electric
car
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sales
increased
marginally
around 18%.
Subsequently
,
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electric
turnovers at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2020 increased 3 times to 54%.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we pay attention to all
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other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "vehicles'" or "vehicle's"?
vehicles
percentage
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sales
we can
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see
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 99%. Which was the highest period for them. Consumer needs decreased
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year
on
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year
and in 2018 the percentage
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sales
for all
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other
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vehicles
significant decreased and turned out 65%.
Finally
, the
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sales
all
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 56% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
2020.
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IELTS academic more than half of new cars sold in Norway in 2020 were electric

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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