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The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. AERe
The given line graph depicts the percentage of adolescence in the United Kingdom who followed a vegetarian diet from the year 1960 and also give forecast till 2020. Overall the number of young people in UK who had vegetarian diets decreased after 1980 till the year 2000. As is presented in the line graph, young people who ate vegetarian meals reached to about 5% of total in 1970 though it was 0% in 1960. This number kept on increasing till 1980 when it reached to over 15% which was highest percentage of adolescent having vegetarian meals in the UK. After than it kept on decreasing with minor fluctuations till the year 2000 when it was only 5%. After 2000, this percentage gradually increased till 2010 at above 10%. It remained steady for the next few years and it is forecasted than that will remain almost same till the year 2020.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph depicts the percentage of adolescence in the United Kingdom who followed a vegetarian diet from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1960 and
also
give forecast till 2020.
Overall
the number of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in UK who had vegetarian diets decreased after 1980 till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.

As
is presented
in the line graph, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who ate vegetarian meals reached to about 5% of total in 1970 though it was 0% in 1960. This number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing till 1980 when it reached to over 15% which was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
percentage of adolescent having vegetarian meals in the UK.
Use "(After)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
After
than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on decreasing with minor fluctuations till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 when it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%. After 2000, this percentage
gradually
increased till 2010 at above 10%. It remained steady for the
next
few years and it
is forecasted
than that will remain almost same till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2020.

IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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