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The graph shows the percentage of 18-25 olds in universities in four different countries.

The graph shows the percentage of 18-25 olds in universities in four different countries. DWqo
The rendered line graph illustrates in four various nations, the percentage of university students age from 18 to 25 years old. Overall, the percentage of Malaysia university student remained stable for 2 decade. Looking at graph reveals that in the beginning of period, initiating at 25%, the percentage of Thailand university students dwindled to 21% after ten years. The fluctuations were noticed between 1971 to 1991 which was recorded at 20% in 1991. After that the percentage of university students had longest continuous rise in the following 30 years.
The rendered line graph illustrates in four various nations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
age from 18 to 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Malaysia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
remained stable for 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'decade' seems to be countable, so consider using: "decades".
decade
. Looking at graph reveals that in the beginning of period, initiating at 25%, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Thailand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
dwindled to 21% after ten years. The fluctuations
were noticed
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1971 and 1991".
between 1971 to 1991
which
was recorded
at 20% in 1991.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the longest".
longest
continuous rise in the following 30 years.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of 18-25 olds in universities in four different countries.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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