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The graph shows that water consumption in the different continents

The graph shows that water consumption in the different continents NlJ1j
The glance at the pie charts provided reveal the proportion of water used for various intentions among six continents in the world: North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia. Looking at the information about water consumption of nations, We can see that Central Asia is dominated at 88%. South East Asia and Africa is lower than Central Asia 84 percent and 81 percent respectively. Also South America is 71 % in agricultural use. This is 10 % smaller than South East Asia. North America and Europe is the lowest in terms of water. Almost all continents use less from water in industry. As Europe as well as North America is the highest proportion of industrial use among continents. In stark contrast, however, South America, Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia use too less with 10%, 7%, 5%and 12%respectively. Looking at the another data concerning domestic use. This is the highest figure. North America and Europe use just under 15% and less than a fifth respectively. Africa is 4 % lawer than Europe. Central Asia and South East Asia are at the same rate at 7%. Overall, it is clear that In all continents, agricultural use is the highest while domestic use is the lawest. In addition to say, Industrial use is lower in continents rather than North America and Europe
The glance at the pie charts provided reveal the proportion of
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water
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used
for various intentions among six
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continents
in the world:
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North
America, South America, Europe, Africa,
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Central
Asia and South East Asia. Looking at the information about
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water
consumption of nations, We can
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see
that
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Central
Asia
is dominated
at 88%. South East Asia and Africa is lower than
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Central
Asia 84 percent and 81 percent
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
South America is 71 % in agricultural
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use
. This is 10 % smaller than South East Asia.
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North
America and Europe is the lowest in terms of
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water
. Almost all
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continents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less from
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water
in industry. As Europe
as well
as
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North
America is the highest proportion of industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
among
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continents
. In stark contrast,
however
, South America, Africa,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Central
Asia and South East Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too less with 10%, 7%, 5%and 12%
respectively
. Looking at the another data concerning domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This is the highest figure.
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North
America and Europe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15% and less than a fifth
respectively
. Africa is 4 %
Possible spelling mistake found.
lawer
than Europe.
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Central
Asia and South East Asia are at the same rate at 7%.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that In all
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continents
, agricultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is the highest while domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lawest
.
In addition
to say, Industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is lower in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continents
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Europe

IELTS academic The graph shows that water consumption in the different continents

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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