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The graph presents statistics of amount of discounts in the 2009 year.

The graph presents statistics of amount of discounts in the 2009 year. apE9
The graph presents statistics of amount of discounts in the 2009 year. Mainly, the costs of purchases rose, however figure B shows the opposite. The commodity A is the most changed over the given period. Its price soared from approximately zero to about six thousand dollars. Another figure that shows large increase is product C. The expence had been equal to ten thousands dollars, afterwards that number was grown by more than fifty thousands. Unlike, the product B demonstrates a marked fall. Despite the fact that price of a good was the highest in January, this number was gradually decreased in twelve months period. Moreover, cost of the item reached almost the lowest level in December. Nevertheless, the least number at the end of 2009 was achieved by product D. Its price flactuated, but in the October the number finally leveled off. If the rest of the goods showed significant changes, this figure was modified clearly less than others did.
The graph presents statistics of amount of discounts in the 2009 year.
Mainly
, the costs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
rose,
however
figure B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the opposite.

The commodity A is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. Its price soared from approximately zero to about six thousand dollars. Another figure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
large increase is product C. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
expence
had been equal to ten thousands dollars, afterwards that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
was grown
by more than fifty thousands.

Unlike, the product B demonstrates a marked fall. Despite the fact that price of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
was the highest in January, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
was
gradually
decreased in twelve months period.
Moreover
, cost of the item reached almost the lowest level in December.

Nevertheless
, the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2009
was achieved
by product D. Its price
Possible spelling mistake found.
flactuated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the October the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
finally
leveled off. If the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, this figure
was modified
clearly
less than others did.
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Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The graph presents statistics of amount of discounts in the 2009 year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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