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Summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. l9Wb
The table shows the data of visitors during a year earlier and year later the refurbishment of Ashton Museum. And The pie charts show the output of satisfaction of the visitors when they visited there during the mentioned period. Overall, the majority of visitors visited during the year after refurbishment, which was 92000. During the year before refurbishment the number of visitors were less, which was 74000. However the maximum number of visitors was dissatisfied before the maintenance which was 40. On the contrary only V visitors had shown no response. Also 30 visitors gave a satisfaction response which was second highest. Although 15 people gave very satisfied reactions, only 10 visitors had shown very satisfied opinions. Year after refurbishment, the majority of visitors were satisfied, which was 40. While, 35 people had shown very satisfied responses. However, 15 visitors were dissatisfied. On the contrary, very satisfied and no response had given the same 5 people.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
earlier and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
later the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
of Ashton Museum. And The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the output of satisfaction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
when they visited there during the mentioned period.

Overall
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
visited during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
, which was 92000. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were less, which was 74000.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was dissatisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the maintenance which was 40.
On the contrary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
V
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
had shown no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
gave a satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
which was second highest. Although 15
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
reactions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
had shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
opinions.

Year after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
, which was 40.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, 35
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responses
.
However
, 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were dissatisfied
.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same 5
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic Summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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