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The graph depicts the evolution of visitors in a Caribbean Island

The graph depicts the evolution of visitors in a Caribbean Island GJ7k2
The graph depicts the evolution of visitors in a Caribbean Island. The table shows the evolution in a seven years time between 2010 and 2017. The first information given on the graph in the “visitors staying on cruise ships”, in 2010 the amount of tourists staying on this Island on a cruise ship was near by 250, 000 visitors. Between 2010 and 2013 the number of people staying on cruise nearly did not change. But then, between 2013 and 2017 the number increase by one and a half million of visitors to reach 2 millions of visitors staying on a cruise ship on this particular island in 2017. The second information on this table is the amount of people staying on this Caribbean island. In 2010 they were 750, 000 then this number increase to reach one and a half million between 2013 and 2015. Afterwards only 1, 25 millions in 2016 to reach again 1; 5 millions in 2017 So the total of people staying on the island is in constant increase since 2010 and its reaches 3 millions in 2017. The amount of the total increased by 3, 5 times. This graph also shows that the amount of people staying on the island on cruise ship overpass the one of people staying on the island.
The graph depicts the evolution of
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visitors
in a Caribbean
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Island
. The table
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shows
the evolution in a seven years time between 2010 and 2017.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
information
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given
on the graph in the
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“visitors
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staying
on
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cruise
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ships”
, in 2010 the
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amount
of tourists
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staying
on this
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Island
on a
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cruise
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ship
was
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
250, 000
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visitors
. Between 2010 and 2013 the number of
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people
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staying
on
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cruise
nearly
did not
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change
.
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But
then, between 2013 and 2017 the number increase by one and a half
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million
of
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visitors
to
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reach
2
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millions
of
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visitors
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staying
on a
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cruise
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ship
on this particular
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island
in 2017.

The second information on this table is the
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amount
of
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people
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staying
on this Caribbean
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island
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2010, they".
2010 they
were 750, 000 then this number increase to
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reach
one and a half
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million
between 2013 and 2015. Afterwards
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only
1, 25
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millions
in 2016 to
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reach
again 1; 5
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millions
in 2017

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the total of
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people
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staying
on the
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island
is in constant increase since 2010 and its
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reaches
3
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millions
in 2017. The
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amount
of the total increased by 3, 5 times.

This graph
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
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amount
of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on the
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island
on
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cruise
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ship
overpass the one of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on the
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island
.

IELTS academic The graph depicts the evolution of visitors in a Caribbean Island

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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